lost of will

yea...i lost my will to live....imagine....at school my money and all is used just for my friends....just to take care of their feelings...everyday i have to bare with them..their behavior to look down on people..to call names and make stupid jokes...for 5 fucking years i bare with them....just as i thought i found my one true friend...she now ignores me...as she believe that i lied about my sickness...she heard romours from others saying so.....why, why cant she check with me first if that romour was true or not...isntead she ignored me and her mom had to call me and tell me the real situation...i am  a matured man...why would i lie about something that is serious....illness is not a game and so is death....i am depress on both of this situation.....i felt being used and there is nothing i could do...i felt sad, heartbroken on how people could believe some1 else without checking with me...what can i do....instead of relaxing..clearing my mind about my sickness and problems...more and more problems come..please...help me....i am a human being....i cant bare with all this no more....im not a robot..i have feelings.......yes, i am strong...but inside.....inside all strong people....is weak.......pls understand this